Let's face it.
We Indians are a horny bunch.
We think dirty. We talk dirty. We write dirty. We watch dirty movies on the sly.
And most of our waking time is spent plotting on how to get into a woman's pants.
And that's okay.
It's okay to be a bit of a perv now and then.
It's okay to occasionally go onto redtube.com [or whatever it is the world is watching nowdays] to watch Lisa Ann giving a school kid her kind of detention.
It's okay to keep a secret folder inside a secret folder inside a hidden folder - stacked up to the brim with men and women of different sizes, colours and positions.
What's not okay is this:
Pretending that we're clean.
Holier than thou.
Because that is exactly what most of us do.
Take the most recent example.
Two BJP ministers of Karnataka, in the midst of [what I can only imagine to be] a suicidally boring debate decided to take advantage of their smart phones. Escaping from their serious ministerial roles for a while, they decided to spend a few minutes being young again. Having a few laughs.
And they, in their snatched away moment of joyful merriment, started browsing through some good old fashioned pornography.
Sadly, what was intended to be a private laugh between two gentlemen suddenly became a public ridicule.
There was furor all around.
Facebook went tizzy with people condemning the act.
Twitter went mad with puns like "porniament".
And Opposition leader Siddaramaiah and JD(S) leader YSV Datta demanded the immediate resignation of these two harmless ministers.
And for what?
For watching a bit of porn.
While parliament is in progress.
For being young for a few minutes.
While they hurriedly grow old.
We Indians are a funny bunch.
We love sex.
But we hate it when others do it.
We want it all for ourselves.
It's a me, me, me world where if I catch you doing it, I'm going to make a laughing stock out of you.
Imagine if you will, for a while, the wives of the ministers now.
One day back they were respected.
People stood when they entered a room.
Other wives aspired to be like them.
And today, they're just the wives of two perverted men.
Suddenly stories will start with as much truth in them as a fairy tale.
"That Patil chap", one neighbur will say.
"I saw him once at a red light district".
What the neighbour himself was doing at this charming red light place will of course be ignored.
There's juicy meat now. No time for boring, plain bread.
If it's one thing we Indian love more than sex, it's moral policing.
On a good day, it's a healthy mix of the two.
In our noble efforts in making our society as clean as our souls, we ban Valentine's Day. We shake our heads when we see a pretty woman in a short skirt. We harass couples spending some quality time together. We spread baseless rumours about co workers.
And after a long hard day of setting the city on the road of righteousness, we go home and fantasize about someone else's wife, someone else's daughter and the woman in the metro in the black pleated skirt.
We Indians are a strange bunch.
However, while we're on this fascinating subject of right and wrong and sex, there is a question to be asked.
Were the two ministers wrong in watching porn?
Or, were they wrong in watching porn while Parliament was in progress?
Personally, I don't give two hoots about protocol. Most of these protocols are too overrated anyway.
But considering they are public servants, and to some extent answerable to the public for their actions, should they have been browsing through porn in Parliament?
But they did.
Now, the next question.
Should the media not have made this public? Should the media have respected their privacy a little bit?
Another question, before we end.
Should Siddaramaiah and leader YSV Datta ask for the resignation of these two ministers?
Because if they do, they'll just be reiterating what we Indian are.
A nation of hypochritical, sex starved people.
If you're of the opinion that the Karnataka misters should indeed be sacked, thank you for reading so far.
You're job here is done.
But if you, like me think what is happening is wrong, here's something you can do about it.
Like this post.
That's the great thing about social networking.
The more the likes, the more popular it becomes.
And soon, with your help and with your beliefs and with your likes, this letter will make its way to Siddaramaiah and YSV Datta.
Perhaps the two shamed ministers can get back to their regular lives again.
Perhaps they won't.
Perhaps it'll bring about a change.
Perhaps it won't.
But no one can say we didn't try.